People Are....

I recently heard a saying that "People are what they do". I think throughout my life I have denied this statement adamantly until now. In the past I gave the benefit of the doubt (not all the time) to people that hurt me. What I know now is if someone is doing you wrong or not treating you in the way you deserve to be treated then they never will. If people cannot compromise, cannot forgive and forget, always have to get the last word; then they always will be that way. I must admit that is a hard pill to swallow because I have always considered myself a fair person; for the most part. Not perfect but I know this...."People are what they do". If you don't do anything about it then you accept that treatment. I know now....

Made it through...

So I made it through this past week with the divas. I must admit that every night was an interesting challenge. I swear my girls have my heart in their hands! Took them to the Farmer's Market on Saturday and learned that Zoe LOVES pears. It was soo funny. I had a slice of a pear in my hand and she snatched it right out!!! Amaya loves tangerines, bananas, and oranges. Thank you to everyone who called to check on me and send encouraging words or wisdom. I am truly blessed to have these 2 little girls in my life...

That Homeless man is me...

For the past 10 years I've had this recurring dream that always leaves me feeling empty when I awake. It even scares me just a little. The setting is always the same; sometime in the near future, a fall month, brisk air, and the city is of all cities Los Angeles. There is only 1 clear character in the dream; me. Everyone else is merely a shadow in the dream but I can definitely feel their emotional intention. The dream unfolds that I am a homeless man begging on a street during nightfall. People pass me but look down on me with disgust and pity. The dream painfully repeats itself until I wake. Before the recent situations that arose in my life I passed the dream off as a warning to stay on top of your career and to stay marketable. I must admit that I have been dead wrong for many many years. The dream, I believe is a reality warning of what I am currently facing now. The homelessness is isolation. The fall represents the dying feeling of depression. Los Angeles represents angels. Nightfall represents the fact that seeing will be difficult. Me asking people for money represents the help that I have asked for. And most of all the people looking down on me with pity represents one person.
I am the homeless man asking for money on the cold dark street of Los Angeles.
In reality I have never hesitated to give a homeless person money. I think sometimes what homeless people are asking for is emotional assistance. Sometimes an encouraging word is more than enough. Sometimes a simple smile will do just fine.
There is a reason why God created this solar system. There is a reason that a season dying represents a season's birth. Karma is not a vice used for revenge. It's God's way of enacting justice. I have paid my dues....

Find the small pieces in life....

Sometimes it's hard to stay positive in a world filled with so much resentment and hatred. Everyone demands forgiveness and yet no one gives it. The old saying "I will forgive but I wont forget", is the most overly used oxy-moronic statement known to man. I have seen valleys and mountain tops and I know this; I must continue to find the small pieces in my life that keep it alive. I must surround myself with people that love me unconditionally, I must forgive and forget, I must love and let love. Defining what a man is has been challenging for me at times in my life. I didnt have a stellar example of what a man is in mine. Although I didnt I feel that I am a good example of a man that has made mistakes, a man that does love beyond boundaries, a man that is human. I have never claimed to be perfect and if I am close to it then I will run from it. All this said I must continue to find the small pieces in my life that keep me alive.....

Breathe Shawn....exhale