Giving thanks for resolution.....

Thanksgiving's theme is Thankfulness, Christmas's them is Giving, and New Year's theme is Resolution. When you add the holiday season's themes up you get, "Giving thanks for resolution". Whether you believe that these holidays were man made or divine creations you cannot deny the power of the holiday season. Somehow they transform otherwise cold hearted, selfish, or even mean people into these robots of love and compassion. They make the transition of the fall to winter bearable. They make relationships mend and flourish; which is why there are so many June-August birthdays. So let's break this holiday theme down shall we?

• Giving - the act of giving entails many avenues including: time, money, forgiveness, and love (just to name a few)


• Thankfulness - the act of being thankful means that you take the time to thank the person(s) in your life that make it worth living. Thanking God for allowing you to continue your journey to fulfill his purpose for your life.


• Resolution - resolutions are often used as scapegoats to mask the unchanging issues in our lives. We make unimaginable New Year's resolutions only because "everyone else does it". Truthfully resolution is a promise to make a change. Its an allegiance against the issue(s) in your life that you will no longer be a slave to and will overcome; at any cost. Many of us want resolution but don't want resolve (think about it and you'll get it).

Now that you know my take on the holiday theme what are you going to do about it? Repeat the theme as the clock strikes midnight for 2010. When you are repeating those words speak it in prayer and think of all the issues you have in your life, think of all the people that surround your life that have helped you through those issues, and lastly thank those people; for they are placed in your life by God!

Giving thanks for resolution.....

Friends

What up Tony?! Good friends are so hard to come by nowadays....haha

Sole Survivor

So last night as I was watching the season finale of Survivor Samoa 1 question resonated on the principle of who deserves to win the game. The question is:

• "If you play the game with known intentions of lying, cheating, and stealing do you deserve to win seeing that you successfully turned everyone against each other?

Moreover, if you follow a person that lies, cheats, and steals do you deserve to win the game? What I noticed is that society punishes those who outwardly accept that role but for some strange reason we shoot a hall pass to those who follow those ring leaders. So who is really wrong? Is it more detrimental to wear your mal-intentions on your sleeve or to simply quietly follow that person and in the end "claim" that you did nothing wrong. Truth is we have all come into contact with a "Russell" in our travels. I think we all have wanted to knock the sh%t out of them at times. Truth is most of us have followed that person and just when the "jig was up" we put on our halos and acted as if we had nothing to do with the demise of others.

I apply this concept to my life directly. If I have a friend that is knowingly doing something wrong and I don't correct him for those wrongs then I am just as wrong. If you have a friend that you know is telling you lies about their personal life and you do nothing more than to be a sounding board then you are doing your friend an injustice. We can all smell a lie out of a stack of truths so why not call a spade a spade?!
If you keep up with my blog you know that I "tell it like it is". I don't "hold punches"; that includes punching myself at times. I would rather be surrounded by friends and family who accept me as I am (truthfully) and check me when I am in the wrong. I don't want to be around people that are merely sounding boards and don't help to guide me to what is truly right. Its like sheep leading sheep if that were the case.
So my assignment to you (and me) is to do a self-inventory of the company you keep.

• Do they truly call you wrong when you are?
• Are they adding any positiveness to your life?

If they aren't maybe in 2010 is the time to "make a trim"....

It is what it is....

Let's see what's been up in my life lately? I know that alot of my posts are loaded with subliminal messages and what not; most of which are not terribly positive. I think I need to change that. I think that when you seem to always be down or going through stuff it gives others around you the power over you. To be quite frank life is life. It's short and before you know it it's over. So while God is blessing me with this journey I want to start to enjoy it and "smell the roses".

People Are....

I recently heard a saying that "People are what they do". I think throughout my life I have denied this statement adamantly until now. In the past I gave the benefit of the doubt (not all the time) to people that hurt me. What I know now is if someone is doing you wrong or not treating you in the way you deserve to be treated then they never will. If people cannot compromise, cannot forgive and forget, always have to get the last word; then they always will be that way. I must admit that is a hard pill to swallow because I have always considered myself a fair person; for the most part. Not perfect but I know this...."People are what they do". If you don't do anything about it then you accept that treatment. I know now....

Made it through...

So I made it through this past week with the divas. I must admit that every night was an interesting challenge. I swear my girls have my heart in their hands! Took them to the Farmer's Market on Saturday and learned that Zoe LOVES pears. It was soo funny. I had a slice of a pear in my hand and she snatched it right out!!! Amaya loves tangerines, bananas, and oranges. Thank you to everyone who called to check on me and send encouraging words or wisdom. I am truly blessed to have these 2 little girls in my life...

That Homeless man is me...

For the past 10 years I've had this recurring dream that always leaves me feeling empty when I awake. It even scares me just a little. The setting is always the same; sometime in the near future, a fall month, brisk air, and the city is of all cities Los Angeles. There is only 1 clear character in the dream; me. Everyone else is merely a shadow in the dream but I can definitely feel their emotional intention. The dream unfolds that I am a homeless man begging on a street during nightfall. People pass me but look down on me with disgust and pity. The dream painfully repeats itself until I wake. Before the recent situations that arose in my life I passed the dream off as a warning to stay on top of your career and to stay marketable. I must admit that I have been dead wrong for many many years. The dream, I believe is a reality warning of what I am currently facing now. The homelessness is isolation. The fall represents the dying feeling of depression. Los Angeles represents angels. Nightfall represents the fact that seeing will be difficult. Me asking people for money represents the help that I have asked for. And most of all the people looking down on me with pity represents one person.
I am the homeless man asking for money on the cold dark street of Los Angeles.
In reality I have never hesitated to give a homeless person money. I think sometimes what homeless people are asking for is emotional assistance. Sometimes an encouraging word is more than enough. Sometimes a simple smile will do just fine.
There is a reason why God created this solar system. There is a reason that a season dying represents a season's birth. Karma is not a vice used for revenge. It's God's way of enacting justice. I have paid my dues....

Find the small pieces in life....

Sometimes it's hard to stay positive in a world filled with so much resentment and hatred. Everyone demands forgiveness and yet no one gives it. The old saying "I will forgive but I wont forget", is the most overly used oxy-moronic statement known to man. I have seen valleys and mountain tops and I know this; I must continue to find the small pieces in my life that keep it alive. I must surround myself with people that love me unconditionally, I must forgive and forget, I must love and let love. Defining what a man is has been challenging for me at times in my life. I didnt have a stellar example of what a man is in mine. Although I didnt I feel that I am a good example of a man that has made mistakes, a man that does love beyond boundaries, a man that is human. I have never claimed to be perfect and if I am close to it then I will run from it. All this said I must continue to find the small pieces in my life that keep me alive.....

Breathe Shawn....exhale

Lessons of Love

I think the most misinterpreted question that has plagued us as a people is "What is Love?". Many people use love as a vice or as a barometer to depict how much another person cares for them. Some are consumed with it and allow it to control their lives. Others just plain dont believe in it. Yesterday the name of the sermon was "Lessons in Love". So it got me to thinking what role does love play in my heart and my actions with people around me. Ironically on our way to church Amaya started acting up so I popped her leg. She cried for about a minute and I eventually turned around and told her that I loved her. Without a hick up she gave the sign for love. It actually made my heart melt.... Here it is I just disciplined her and without hesitation she shows me love; literally.
Why are children so smart but adults are so dumb? Are children closer to God than we are? Do we grow up and loose the amazement of the "7 wonders of the world", the "mystery in magic", or the "God-like love"? God teaches us the love is action not a word. God so loved the world that he gave (action) us his only son. Even Janet said "what have you done for me lately?"...haha. All jokes aside do us as adults loose the highlights of our spirit to only become these programmed individuals that spend so much time guarding ourselves from true love?
To find true love is not an act of receiving it. Its an act of giving it; boundlessly. Look at the way we love our children (well some of us). We love them unconditionally. So why do we place conditions on the people that helped us to make those little ones that remind us of love everyday? Why does love get lost in the shuffle of life? Why does love just become a cool song or a sensual fling in a summer night? Why does love get boxed in between Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter? Why dont we love all the time? Why do we gamble with love? Why is it that when the loss of love is finally upon us we finally "straighten" up and want love to comfort us? We all do it, we all will continue to do it. My question is why.
The pastor had a great analogy of the love for God. See we walk around with our love for God as if it were a ticket. Yes our ticket into glory but we just treat it like an old ticket in our pocket. Why dont we covet that ticket? Why dont we look at the ticket everyday?
So here are the 4 points that the pastor discussed as the "Lessons of Love":

• Love reconciles (1 Corinthians 13:5)
• Love connects (loves moves us towards one another)
• Love serves (love is measured by the way we serve others and God)
• Love sacrifices (the greatness of love is determined by how much you are willing to sacrifice)

"Loose to become a blessing"...

All in all love is a constant in the world. It's like the air we breathe, its 2nd nature. But why isnt it 1st nature? Looking at my life I am tired of people telling me they love me and not showing me. Last night I watched the 1927 rendition of the novel "Uncle Tom's Cabin". If you havent seen it I would urge you to find it and watch it. It shows you the misperceptions of love and more so how "we" were viewed then and even sometimes now. But overall the movie was a silent movie. Think if we have to go 1 day with silence. Could some of us even know how to show love? Or are we so use to saying it and not doing it. I will leave you with a short video of Amaya showing her mom that she loves her....PRICELESS

Daddy Daycare: Canadian Edition 3

Once again it rained all day yesterday so the threat of cabin fever loomed over the Stephens household. Luckily for me it was Sunday so off to church we canoed...or drove..haha. We finally got there about 20 minutes late but as my mom use to say back in the day 1 minute in church is worth more than 1 minute in the world. After church we got home and I had plans of doing something else with the girls but mother nature had other plans in mind (constant rain) so we just stayed inside and: wrestled, colored, watched Dora, and ate. It was a nice ending to an otherwise hectic weekend.

Amaya dancing to MJ. His music is timeless!!

Daddy Daycare: Canadian Edition 2

Well as the weather experts promised it rained ALL DAY today. And anyone who has children knows that a child with cabin fever is a parent pulling their hair out. A great remedy for a rainy Saturday was the Dallas Museum of Arts and Sciences. Your next question might be "Shawn that is for older kids" but my immediate response would be "do your homework". This museum has a children's museum (ages 0-7) that has a ton of things for the little ones to get into (a water room, a fake farm, imax, and a fake tunnel to simulate being a prairie dog). Amaya had the time of her life. There was one point when we were in the farm section and the key was to grab a sack and collect veggies; similar to what farmers do. Well Cheeky decides that the fake fruit would be much better used as a dodgeball and commences to throwing the veggies at other kids. Needless to say this started an uprising and before I knew it all of the kids were throwing fake veggies EVERYWHERE...haha. In the water room Amaya almost jumped all the way in the water! in the IMAX room Amaya decided that she wanted to get up and leave the theatre. And throughout all of this Zoe was as content as could be. In the end Amaya had a great time doing what she loves to do: yell, run, and just be a fun-loving little girl.
Overall today was a very long day. But no matter how difficult at times it was I enjoyed every minute of it. My advice is never let the rain wash your fun away....

Daddy Daycare: Canadian Edition 1

Well Melissa is off to her annual ICMA conference this year in Quebec, Canada. So ya'll pray for me as I endeavour upon taking care of the girls for the next 6 days solo. Tonight was a pretty easy night, in that daycare took care of the divas for most of the day. I picked them up around 5pm and they both were in good spirits. Amaya has been battling a bad eczema outbreak (oral and topical meds) and Zoe is battling a bad eye cold. With that said the night went fairly well. Both girls are down and its just a little past 930pm. Not sure what I will do with them over the weekend especially considering that its raining here nonstop. Actually its supposed to rain here all weekend. All in all I love these moments that I have with my girls. They are unequivocally the love of my life and I cherish the time that I have with them. God thank you.

Luby's

Why is it that old people love Luby's. Some coworkers and I went there for lunch and had a blast! I didn't realize how expensive that place has gotten either. I chose a "power lunch" for $5.99 and my total cost ended up being $13.79!! What they do is tease you with all these a la carte sides and sweets. I couldn't resist. Anyways I saw a little girl got a pink balloon so you know me, I had to get one also...haha

Too much CatchUp!

So the past few days have been extremely event-filled for me. This past week I was in ATL on business. I got a call from Melissa that Zoe needed to be taken to the ER for signs of a viral infection. So here I was sitting in the airport and couldn't be there to comfort my baby baby. I must admit that not being there to console your child is the most helpless feeling that a parent could feel. It is similar to when your wife is giving birth and you cannot take any of that pain away. Us men are put in odd situations at times in our lives. Anyways when I finally landed I rushed to the house and you could tell that Zoe had been through a long day. I felt so bad! The next day I decided to stay at home with her to make sure that everything was ok with her. Thank God she has bounced back like a champ. The weekend was really busy. On Saturday we attended the Tri-City Animal Shelter grand opening. I must admit that I am very proud of Melissa. She is very instrumental in her efforts and work with Cedar Hill and her hard work definitely shows. I think she found her calling in working in city government.
So after the shelter event we went to Damien's (frat bruh) 30th birthday party. That was really fun because I hadn't been to a good house party in a while. Aren't house parties so fun?! I mean there is nothing like laughs, food, drinks, and good friends. That has to be a perfect combination!
On Sunday we went to church and just hung out with the girls for the rest of the day. Going to church and spending quality family time on Sundays is always a great way to top off an eventful weekend.
So there you have it. That is the script that Shawn (me) played out for the past couple of days...

It starts with me

So I went to church with the pham yesterday (as usual) and was really enlightened. The associate pastor covered the widely misinterpreted scripture "Wives submit to your husbands, and husbands love your wives". The direction that he took really impressed me. His take on the verse was that the action starts with you. Not to use it as a "this is what you need to be doing" write of passage. He used examples as God sending his son Jesus to us and him being sacrificed to save our souls. This was God making the 1st step for/towards us. He basically said that rather than waiting on the other person to make the move why don't you just make the 1st move. This really resonated in my life as I had become the person that was irritated by others around me not making the "1st move" that I vowed not to make another positive move until I was reassured that the other person had already done so. Bad mistake that has cost me severely in my life thus far. But God is a forgiving God and has continued to guide me in the right path (sometimes I go kicking and screaming); but I go. I sum this up to say make the move. Rather that person is moving or even plans to move. Make that move...

Baby Pics

Thought I would share these baby pics with ya'll... as soon as Melissa "Procrastinator" Stephens gets me a baby pic of herself I will update it...haha

@MrShawnStephens, Twitter that is...

So I finally set myself up with a twitter account. Lets see how innovative I can be. Hit me up @mrshawnstephens...I think that's how the techies put it nowadays..haha

Essence of Food Poisoning

So recently I attended the Essence festival held in New Orleans, LA. So on the 1st night that we are there we are headed back to the room and were going to stop for McDonald's. Me being the smartest guy that I am said "why dont we just get Popeye's. I mean we are in New Orleans!". So we walk a couple more paces and get a bucket of chicken, red beans & rice, and bisquits. Long story short I woke up the next morning and knew that something was wrong! I walked over to the CVS to get some rolaids and pepto. By noon that day I had starting chucking. That went on for 24 hours! Then all the other symptoms of food poisoning started!! haha yall know what I mean! Anyways I didn't start feeling better until Wednesday (4 days later!!) So if you ask me how my 1st Essence Festival was I will defer you to this blog!
Other than that this past Sunday the wifey (Melissa) and I took the girls swimming. I must admit when she 1st brought it up I was not excited (anyone that knows me knows that I am not really; hell not at all and outdoors person. I mean unless of course it is my favorite season; the FALL). It turned out to be a great idea because we all had a wonderful time. I enjoyed watching the family splish and splash in the pool. My girls are getting so big!! I can feel that baby innocence wearing off of them....tear..haha.
Lately my life has been less dramatic and more stable. I have been attending church and trying to apply every lesson that the pastor instills somewhere in my life. 3 weeks ago he talked about legalism and how that theory (we do good things so we can make it to heaven) is not the way we should be. He basically said that 1st we need to accept that we are a child of God and that the reason we do good things is because we are good people. I must admit that this went against the way I had thought but it really opened me up to learn to accept who I am and why I do the things that I do. God has really been working with me and showing me how to live my life. I thank God for that!
Other than that all is well. I have been trying to eat healthy every morning (yogurt and bottle of water). I am watching my weight. Yes even skinny me has to do that. Its mainly my midsection. I cant have these young Chris Browns, Omarions, and Zach Efrons showing me up...haha. Still havent started lifting weights but oh well.
Lately I have been fighting my want for a motorcycle. I really want one but recently Melissa sent me an email about a couple that passed when riding one. I don't want to end up like that bc I have to walk both of these little divas in training down the isle. Maybe i'll just add some things to my car and that will suffice for not having a motorcycle...we will see.
Overall I thank God for continuing to show me the right way to live and not letting me loose my mind even when I wanted to. I thank all the people that continue to pray for me....it really does work...
P.S.
Lately ive been missing you mom. Either me and the pham are going to have to come visit you or youre gonna have to come this way! I love you
And lately i've been speaking to someone that hasnt really been in my life consistently. I love you too and I thank God that we are able to speak. I know we dont show it or even see one another hardly ever but know that I am here for you as I know you are here for me.
Ya'll like my hair?! Im trying to get it back like I had it 1 year ago!! I shouldve never cut it...haha

Open Door Policy

It was recently brought to my attention that sometimes my words offend the readers. And quite frankly I am not going to appologize..haha. No but seriously I am in a very happy place right now in my life. I have learned to "accept the things I cannot change"...thanks mom. Life is funny how you can say "something" meant for "someone" else and "another" person is convicted by it. I dont hold grudges and no appologies are neccesary. When I made the statement that I was going to put more distance between the people that are not interested in improving my life; that was meant for the people that are actually in my life. That was not meant for the people that are not in my life. My door is open for anyone who is interested in improving my life or leading me closer to God and success. That is my goal in life: not to clutter anyone's life with my issues and to help them achieve greatness and Godliness.

What really matters...

I think that sometimes in life it is easier to give in than to stand or to be mad than happy. I thank the people around me that truly love and support me. Mom and sissy thank you so much for those kind words regarding my last post. Those words definitely uplift me and continues to remind me who has been in my corner through thick and thin. Blood is always thicker than water and family is priceless!! God bless you too!!!

Can't win for loosing!

It was recently brought to my attention that I never mentioned that I was married! Apparently I am a trying to hide from the world that I am in fact married. Well the "truth" is I have been married for almost 4 years as of November 2009. Recently I have been tremendously stressed out and over the past year I have really learned what it's like to truly make mistakes and pay for them. Truth is I'm not a bad guy. Even though there are people around me that would like the world to believe so. So whoever has a problem with me I say thank you. Thank you for being a spur in my side, thank you for letting me know every time I make a mistake, thank you for continuing to remind me that I will never measure up to you. Again Shawn DeeWayne Stephens is married and this blog isn't about "hooking" up. It was merely meant to be a bird's eye view in my world. But obviously even with something as benign about this personal blog; I CAN'T WIN FOR LOOSING!!!! I am signing off from this blog for good.....see you on the other side of happiness. If you're already there please leave the light on.

Daddy Daycare: Day 4 Recap

Yesterday was pretty eventful being that we took Zoe to her 2 month check up, where she received 2 shots in both legs. As a parent have you ever stopped to wonder why our children get so many vaccines? I know I cannot remember being 2 or 3 or 4 for that matter but do ya'll think that we use to get that many shots? Just a thought...

Daddy Daycare: Day 3 Recap

Pretty quiet day today. Zoe was really lazy today so she stay awake for too long today. She still is soo cuddly though...

Daddy Daycare: Day 2 Recap

Well today was pretty cool. Zoe was good for me and allowed me to get quite a bit of work done. The funniest thing that happened today was when she thurped all over the place. After I changed her and finished feeding her she was as happy as a pig in fresh slop...haha

Daddy Daycare: Day 1 Recap

Yesterday I started my 2 week journey of working from home and caring for Zoe. Needless to say I was kind of nervous. Not really sure why but I was. Zoe was very good for me and let me get quite a bit of work done. I think these next 2 weeks are good for me because it will give me time to bond with Zoe. I must admit I envy women and how our society makes accomidations for them to be able to stay at home with pay. I really think that the laws should change to allow every father at least 2 weeks off for maternity leave. I mean we live in a world where there is a shortage of active fathers and I think that allowing that person paid time off to bond with their kid(s) would change some men's mind. Maybe, maybe not...

Word of the day? Schedule
Fathers women are pretty darn good at this and I think that is the secret to great parenting....

I am legend...My 2 Cents

You know I was sitting back last Saturday looking at my 2 cents to the world (Amaya and Zoe). And I couldnt help but be amazed that God has blessed me with the responsibility of helping to raise 2 women in today's society. Often times the wives tale is that the more of a lady's man you were coming up the higher your chances are at having a little girl. I must admit that tale does hold true in some instances; but not all. See I look at my glass as being 1/2 full and not 1/2 empty. I believe that God trusts that I will make the right decisions and lead my 2 little ladies into womanhood and greatness (with Melissa's and his help of course). I am in ahww of how different their personalities are and how a little bit of me is instilled within the 2 of them. How one day they will have little ones that will learn the same lessons that I have yet to teach them. How men will fall in and out of love with them and how that will make me feel. How 1 day (God willing) I will walk each one of them down the isle to cross over into this life of marriage. I know that I have a tremendous amount to learn and to teach. I pray everyday that I make the most sensible decision when it comes to their well being. I pray that I am patient with them when they dont know what they want to do with their lives. I pray that when they look into my eyes that they are comforted and know that they always have a place to call home. My legend is not my accomplishments. My legend is the brand of life that I bestow on the 2 little ladies that God has tasked me to raise, give to him, and them to give to the world. Deep huh... If you have kids sit back 1 day and think about the task that is at hand. Think about how you were chosen by God to help raise that little one. Think about the trust that God has in you to be the best for them. That's my 2 cents...and I love them with all of my heart...
On to some pics...

Recently my best friend Delone Landrum cross the burning sands of being single and entered into marriage with the love of his life (Rachael)...congrats bruh and blessings...




Me and him at his bachelor party...no strip clubs!! We are some stand up guys...

Zoe and I chilling at home...

Who am I?

Good morning, good afternoon, and good night. My name is Shawn Stephens. In short that is all alot of people know about me, however there are many different levels that make-up exactly who I am. Let's get the vitals out of the way:

• Born 06/02/1977 6-something in the am
• Wichita KS (Wesley Medical Center)
• Baby of 3 to Freddie Lee Stephens and Denice Hendrix
• Currently living in the biggest country/state of Texas
• Diploma earned May 1995 from the best basketball school in Kansas (Wichita South)
• Degree eaned May 2001 from Kansas State University
• 2 Beautiful Baby girls (I know life is going to be interesting..haha)

So now that is out of the way let's catch you up on where my life is right now. On March 23rd the Lord blessed us with another baby girl who I decided to name Zoe Ava. We already have 1 baby girl who is 17 months going on 2 1/2 named Amaya Lynn. Happiness is definitely in the air along with the excitement of what God has in store for me. This past year has probably been the most exilirating, rewarding, interesting, stressful, uncertain time of my life. Some days are better than others but with God all around me I know that nothing go falter.

Professionally I continue to better myself and be an asset to my company (Republic National). My current title is Microstrategy Support Analyst. Recently got word that we got another new boss; inside joke..haha. Anyways I consider myself to have work ADD, meaning that I have to constantly have more than 1 project on my plate to feel useful (definitely trying to cure myself of that).

Spiritually I am not where I want to be. I grew up in a devout Penecostal family that went to church almost everytime the doors were open. My mother is a steadfast praying woman who I know has sent some prayers up (on behalf of me) and I have reaped the blessings (thanks mom). I pray and ask God for guidance everyday in these trying times. For those who read this section and are religious please continue to pray for me.

Personally I continue to heal and recieve more clarity on what my role in life is. Currently I am post stressed out and staying calm to see the forrest above the trees. This past year I have endured many changes in my life that has taught me when, where, and how to give my love.

Overall life is good. 2 weeks, 2 days, 1 year ago I might not have said that. In all I believe that goes shows us situations, who people are, and gives us options for a reason. We all have the choice. My choice is to live, love, and move out of the way when I cant do both....Stay tuned..